Bottom line: After going over our files and talking about our last cycle Dr. M did not see much hope for us to have a child of our own if we continue trying with my eggs. By looking at how many have been retrieved each cycle (19 & 26) and how many we actually had left (just enough to transfer and none left to freeze) he didn't think the eggs were doing the job they are suppose to. WHAT A BLOW!!

I wasn't at all prepared to hear anything like this. Of course Dr. M. didn't say we couldn't try again if this is what we wanted. We could increase the medication and hope for a few more eggs to retrieve. This would maybe leave us with a couple left over. But who knows, since we were dealing with the age factor of the eggs there was no guarantee.

Dr. M. started talking about using an egg donor and how our chance would be increasing. But that was not an option for us. We have always agreed that we would either have a baby of our own or we would have a child through adoption.

It looked like adoption was going to be the way to go. I felt so sad; I would never have a little one that would resemble my husband. I always thought that having a child that would be like him would be the greatest gift. But I knew from the beginning that this may never happen.

I shared the disappointing news with my friends on the IVF board and everybody was so very supportive. They directed me to some websites about "Embryo Adoption". I took a look and only after reading about it for a few minutes I knew this would be the way for us to go.

I contacted Dr. M. and asked him if our clinic does have an embryo donation program and if this would be something we should even consider? He thought it was a very good solution to our problem and had me contact the nurse in charge of the embryo donor program.

These are some of the questions we had:

How do we choose a donor embryo?

We contacted the nurse in charge of the donor program. She asked a few questions about what we are looking for in a donor (physical appearance etc.). She sent us some profile with currently available embryos.

What will we learn about the donors?

In the profile is everything listed about the donors, their closet relatives as in siblings, parents of the donors and grand parents? Build, height, weight, hair color. Likes and dislikes are listed. SAT scores and educational level, occupation etc. A detailed medical history is given back to the grand parents.

Will the donor's medical history be available to us for future references?

We will receive a copy of the donor's profile

What are the chances of any sibling meeting later on in life?

Studies have shown that it is very unlikely for sibling from the same donor couple will ever meet.  But this would be a good reason to be upfront with the child about how it came to be.

How will we explain to the child in the future of how it came to be?

I am already working on a "Story book" about our IVF journey. This will be a helpful tool when the time comes to explain everything. We do not plan to make a secret of it in any way, but rather want to slip it into conversation casually.

What is the protocol going to be like?

See FET Protocol.

Will I do a medicated or a natural cycle?

I decided to do a medicated cycle, which will avoid any "hick ups"

What are the pros and cons with natural versa medicated cycle?

Neither of them have a better chance of it resulting in pregnancy.

Choosing a UN medicated cycle does mean that you do rely entirely on you body. And if it doesn't cooperate you may end up having to cancel the cycle and start over again. This was not an option for me. I didn't want to take the chance and having to wait a few more months.

What medications will I be taking, if any?

See Medication log FET 2004

How old should the donor be?

We decided to choose the female donor to be 35 years or younger. The male donors are usually older.

When were the embryos frozen?

Our donated embryos were frozen in 2000

At what stage in development were the embryos frozen?

The embryos are all 6 day blastocysts.

Is the success rate with younger frozen better compare to the older ones?

There seems to have been a greater success rate with embryos frozen in 2000 or later.

What is the success rate with a donor embryo compare to a non donor FET?

In our case: We have about a 40% chance to become pregnant.

How many embryos will we receive?

We received five 6 day blast embryos; frozen in straws of threes and twos.

 How many embryos will we thaw and how many are we going to transfer?

We will thaw the straw with the 3 embryos first and see how many have survived and how they are doing? I decided on 3 embryos to be transferred if possible.

What is the risk involved with a high # transfer?

See IVF summary.

What are the implications with selective reduction?

See IVF summary.

What are the fees for donor FET?

The fees for the donated frozen embryos are about 1/3 of what a regular fresh IVF/ICSI cycle costs us.