Hello everyone,

I don’t even know where to begin. There was no Transfer today!!.

It’s been a very long, long day. We finally got home at about 8 pm.

This is what happened. We got to the clinic about 20 min early in for our appointment at 12:15pm. Figured I can get the blood test out of the way beforehand and relax for a while. Well, 15 min past appointment went by, then 30 then 45, still nothing. The nurse came in the waiting room in to check on another patient who came in about 30 minutes after us and was there for a FET as well and myself to see what our bladders feel like. She instructed us to slow down on the water intake because of a delay. No biggy, happens, right!!

So 15 min after that the other couple was called in. I am wondering why she went ahead of us. Nurse again tells us it will be at least another 15 before consult. OK!!  So by almost 2 pm we get called in and one of the REs  is greeting us and she asked me if I had to use the bathroom. Mmmm???? But I figure transfer will still be a while of.

When I got to Dr. L.’s office I am a bit surprised. There is not only my DH and the RE there is also the head of the embryology staff. OH, OH!! What now??

Dr. L. didn’t know where to start. This has never happened in their 20 years of running the clinic. I am just thinking Embryos didn’t make it, what else can it be??

No, they made it just fine, all FOUR of them. Ok!!?? Well up to this point they only thawed one straw (and remember I had 5 embies 3+2 straw=5). There shouldn’t be FOUR embryos!!!!!!!!!  So the delay has been caused by this!! Everybody has been trying to figure out how this could have possibly happen, the whole clinic was going bonkres. They called in REs that were off duty, just to figure out what happend.

There wasn’t really any explanation, but that there was only 1 embryo inon of the other a “2 straws”.

And to find this out they would have thaw out the others as well. Which meant they also had to thaw out the two 2 straws that were meant for 2 other women.

But it had to be done so they could account for 9 embryos total. That’s how many were left from that “batch”.  And if they find all of them we would be able to pick out the best. I felt so bad for the other two ladies who wouldn’t be able to get these embryos now. I could have been in their position. (well I was, just didn’t know it yet)

They send us off and told us to be back around 4:45pm, by then they would have all the embryos thawed and counted.

When we got there the nurse came right in the waiting room and told me to hold off on the water until I heard from Dr. L. We saw her at about 5pm and guess who was there again? The embryologist!! Well, in each of the 3 straws were 2 embryos, meaning they had one too many. One they couldn’t account for and they had no idea how it got there.

From a previous conversation I did gather that it would have been very unlikely for any other patient’s embryo to be mixed into the batch. At the time they were in the lab there was only one other batch of three embryos and all of them had been used.

So where did #10 come from? Could have someone miscounted from the start?  So at some point something went wrong. Nobody knows yet, when, who or how!

So, all of the 10 perfect looking embryos had to be destroyed.

And what are we suppose to do?? We were able to take 2 more profiles home with us and look them over and if we like them we could still go ahead and do a transfer tomorrow afternoon. But Steve and I just finished going over them and we both agree that they are not for us. (Too many serious health issues from both of the fathers and their families).

Looks like I will have to call in the am and talk to the nurse and Dr and tell them we don’t like the choices. And to top it all off the Nurse in charge of the Donor program will be going on maternity leave very soon. So we would have to wait until she gets back. And even if by some miracle we could find some suitable donor before DH starts the Fire Academy the end of October I would have to do it all on my own. He wouldn’t available for any appointments or shots and not the transfer to drive me. He is not allowed to take off any time!! This could take us all the way into March before we could start again.

I just don’t know what to think anymore. My head is pounding and now I am starting to cry. This is just to f……..  much!!

Hi.

I have read all of your replies to my post and I wanted to thank each and every one of you for the enormous support. I tried to reply to you individually, but I just can’t make it happen. Every time I read one I keep bursting out in tears.

I have been reading some of your posts and I would like to say something, but nothing feels right. It’s especially tough to answer to the BFP posts and be happy if I am feeling so down myself. I feel like I have just gotten a BFN x 100. I just don’t think I will be much of anything for a while. But I am happy to hear everyone’s good news, I really do, believe me,  even though all I do is cry.

Right now it feels like I am at the end of it. I can’t do it anymore. It may have been different if there would have been some suitable embryos available.

I did talk to the Doctor this morning telling her we didn’t want to use them. They are still at a loss and have been trying to figure out until late last night what could have happened. And the only possible explanation is that one of the smaller cell embryos got stuck on one that have been transferred to a straw.

All embryos are being cultured together, seems they do better when they are all together in a cluster than being separated by cells and grades. So when the 6 day blasts were transferred one of the lesser developed embryos (30 cells or so) must have stuck to the bigger while they were taking them out. And once they are in a straw you can’t tell how many are in there. Only after the thaw!

I also asked how many they usually freeze. And all they do is in 3s, 2s and of course the 1s. No 4’s or more. So the straw could have not been mislabeled with someone else’s either. Thank god for that!

This is the only answer possible. And I must say, I do believe that as well. Just like Sarah said they could have swept it under the rug and just told us the embryos never made it. We would have NEVER known.

And even though I can really understand how angry some of you are about this whole disaster and you have been very mellow compare to what some of my friends have said, I am not angry (maybe I will be later). One wanted me to call her RE in San Francisco and see if there is anything they could do and maybe have an Embryo and drive over there and have it done. And even if there isn’t a way, but maybe just try.  I think she wants a baby even more for me than I do for myself sometimes. I just didn’t see the point in taking up someone’s time knowing very well that there is a lesser chance than 0 to have anything happening today. I just didn’t want to deal with another “I am sorry, no can do”. Right now I feel more defeated than anything else. Especially when knowing we may be pushed all the way into March. This is another 6 month!!

The nurse in charge will be leaving on Nov. 1^st. Maybe a donor will be available before than. But I am not holding my breath. And to be honest I don’t want to change clinics either. Maybe I will talk to them in a while and see if there is someone else who could take over while the NR is on maternity leave.

I still trust them even though this happened.  I think it was a freak accident and they are so upset over this as well. I also talked to the Dr. about the financial aspect (I didn’t want to come right out and say “I think it would only be fair that you guys should be paying for everything +, after what we have been through” instead I told her we need to figure out our finances since DH will bring home a smaller paycheck beginning Nov. for the 4 month following). She could only tell me so much, but will have someone call me next week and let us know.

I think after hearing how they will handle this side I will have a better idea of how I feel about them. I hope they do what I would expect them to (I still have confidence that they will do the right thing).

Like I said before I think they should have us not pay a penny for our next cycle. I don’t even think they can make up for everything we have gone through and invested emotionally, not to mention my body.

I guess that’s it. I am supposed to quit all the other meds and take some progesterone in Pill form for another 7 days so my period would be somewhat normal. Well, I haven’t picked it up yet. I am in no condition to go anywhere. I may just skip them all together.

I must say I always thought that I was one of the luckier women on the board having to endure so little compare to many of you. Beside being a bit to old and my eggs not wanting to cooperate I didn’t have to go through any kind of surgeries, canceled cycles because of cysts, genetic testing or anything thing that needed to be fixed first.

Well, I guess I get to deal with the hurdles that are not fixable, that are out of anyone’s control. This IVF journey has finally taking a turn for the worse.

Sometimes I wonder: Who is writing the scripts for the “soap opera on planet earth”?? Someone with a real sick sense of humor that’s for sure!!